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happy life

Schopenhauer on happiness

by Joanna on 10/09/2009

schopenhauerArthur Schopenhauer was born on February 22, 1788 in Danzig, Poland. He had a pessimistic personality. He said for example: ““Life swings like a pendulum backward and forward between pain and boredom”

Arthur was not a happy fellow so what a surprise to find after his death, in his personal notes, a manuscript in the writings entitled “Die Kunst, glücklich zu sein” which could be translated as the art of being happy. I couldn’t find any trace of it in English bibliographies. Schopenhauer says that we can’t be happy but at least we can follow rules to avoid pain. He lists 50 rules. The first rule is not to aim for an unachievable happiness but to manage your life as well as you can by avoiding unnecessary suffering for you and others.

The second rule is to avoid jealousy by comparing with others (hum that sounds like positive psychology)

The third rule is to not drift from your natural tendencies. Some are creative others contemplative. Don’t go against your nature

An Other rule is to be self-sufficient: “Happiness belongs to those who are sufficient unto themselves. For all external sources of happiness and pleasure, are by their very nature, highly uncertain, precarious, ephemeral and subject to chance.”

In his essay “on the wisdom of life” from Schopenhauer final work, “Parerga und Paralipomena” (1851), Arthur sees health as the most important factor of happiness that can’t be traded for honors.

“For, after all, the foundation of our whole nature, and, therefore, of our happiness, is our physique, and the most essential factor in happiness is health, and, next in importance after health, the ability to maintain ourselves in independence and freedom from care. There can be no competition or compensation between these essential factors on the one side, and honor, pomp, rank and reputation on the other, however much value we may set upon the latter. No one would hesitate to sacrifice the latter for the former, if it were necessary. We should add very much to our happiness by a timely recognition of the simple truth that every man’s chief and real existence is in his own skin, and not in other people’s opinions; and, consequently, that the actual conditions of our personal life,—health, temperament, capacity, income, wife, children, friends, home, are a hundred times more important for our happiness than what other people are pleased to think of us: otherwise we shall be miserable.”

“It is the possession of a great heart or a great head, and not the mere fame of it, which is worth having, and conducive to happiness”

Schopenhauer has been influenced by Buddhism and believed in the limitation of your desire to lower suffering. Life was for him a painful road and his (limited) happiness rested in avoiding, reducing, coping. None the less, his rules are good guidelines to live a happy life.

I leave you with a sample of a six part series on philosophy presented by philosopher Alain de Botton, featuring six thinkers and their ideas about the pursuit of happiness. This episode is about Schopenhauer.

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Click on the painting to discover the artist Bob Row and his gallery of portraits :)

You can also read this very good article about Schopenhauer and happiness.

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Where is happiness when it hurts?

by Joanna on 27/08/2009

“Writing from a moment of deep sorrow.

Tonight, I am alone in Spain. I feel lost. A dear friend touched a very ancient wound. I thought it was a cleared matter, a souvenir. But set the décor, rerun the script and bad memories come haunting you. You are only a nutshell on a furious ocean.

Where is happiness in those moments?

How can someone who is writing about happiness and living it everyday can make such a deep dip? I feel like a frog with my swollen eyes. Coldplay is signing melancholic songs for me, only for me. Far from everybody, I am a lonely soul. So where is happiness when my heart feels it has been left on the side of the road?

“If you ever feel neglected

If you think that all is lost

I’ll be counting up my demons”

It’s not the first time that the same demons come knocking so what is the way to go?

First, there was rage. It took over me. I was screaming, walking all over. I could have broken everything in the flat. Rage, what a curious emotion. Rage like a feeling of omnipotence. Rage, taking back the control over matter when you are totally losing it.

Second, there was self-pity. Why, why, why me?

Third, there was the need to run away. Fourth, fifth… just because the situation, the people touched a painful spot. I thought all this was far behind. What a surprise!

That’s where happiness lies: the truth. Oh yes, I wish I could be way ahead on the road but I still have some undone business to take care of. I have no clue on how to get this past me but I know that if I don’t change my methods of coping, it will rise again. It’s with a swollen heart that I wish I will get to a place of peace to talk to my friend. I know that in these moments you can be quickly overtaken by that suffering voice.

Happiness can’t ignore suffering just like with those kids in the japanese school.

I can’t hide or avoid. There are places, moments in this life that make me question the foundations of my happiness. It seems so clear and easy and suddenly concepts are shadowed by fierce emotions. But even then I can still see the shiny person within who is now coming back to the surface.

A happy life is not a life free of pain

The next day coincidences started to knock at my door again as if life was winking at me and a new door opened. I learned a lot from that moment of despair and how your mind can focus on details to match with your internal scenario. In a world where communication is a central matter, I realize that mine shuts down in crucial moments, only to push myself in recurring stories.

I wanted to share that moment because happiness seems so obvious to me but that little shot reminded me that it will always be an ongoing process.

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Happiness and Ayurveda

by Joanna on 06/08/2009

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Ayurveda is often described as a holistic science of health and happiness. So I went for a week in an ayurvedic center in Normandy to take a massage class. I stricktly followed the vegetarian, ayurvedic diet.

The 5000-year old Indian system of medicine tells us what to eat, when to eat, how to reside and how to behave. It summons us to a kind of life style that is supposed to lead us to a better living and a long life.

The Ayurveda describes the nature of a happy and unhappy life ( Sukhayu and Dukhayu):
-    Sukhayu (Happy) is the life with mental and physical satisfaction, good power of thinking, physical strength, healthy body, satisfaction in life, energy.
-    Dukhayu (Unhappy) is the life full of mental tensions, diseased body, unsatisfaction in life.

According to Ayurveda, happiness implies feeding our body and mind with good food and education, entertaining healthy relationships with friends and family but also feeding our soul with righteousness. The Vedas (Sacred Texts of Hinduism) say that one can achieve happiness and health only by spiritual practice.

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Happiness at school

by Joanna on 30/07/2009

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If happiness was taught at school, what would the world look like?

My friend Nathalie, author of the blog Origin.all, sent me this video about a japanese teacher.

It starts with a dialogue between the teacher and his pupills on the first day of school:

“What is the most important thing this year?

- To be happy!

- What are we here for?

- To be happy!”

Surprinsingly, there is a lot of crying in the documentary because being happy doesn’t mean avoiding pain. He is teaching the kids and the viewer that bonding, caring, empathy, trust, friendship help go through difficult time. The teacher , Toshiro Kanamori, can also be hard but in the end his goal is to show how precious life is, to guide them to principles that make a happy life.

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Happily ever after!

by Joanna on 25/06/2009

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I live a happy life.

To my biggest surprise nothing can through me off for a long time. Deceptions, feeling of rejection, anger, sadness, loneliness, nothing seems to stick anymore.
I remember being in New York. I was alone in the penthouse apartment floaded with sunlight. I was crying. I would sit on the stairs and cry. I would stand up at the window, look at the statue of liberty and whip. I would lay down on the sofa and stare at the ceiling.
I had it all! The apartment, the car, the outfit of a life on track. I had the fun nights in Manhattans, the home cooked meals with friends, the gym, the paycheck.  And still sadness was sticking.

Now I can see that I was feeding it with interpretations, internal stories, my outlook on life.

So what is the difference?

I believe mainly two things have changed:

First, like if I had developed the negative roll, I see life differently.  I see all situations, bad or good as opportunities, opportunities to experience and learn. And, if there is something I enjoy in life it is learning. This shift didn’t happened in a day  but  really started when I said to myself “Is there an other way to experience life?” That question alone brought to me a series of encounter that changed my life and my vision.

Second. Now, I use my emotions like if they were little flashing lights on a car board. Sadness is not a companion anymore; it is merely a nice refreshing shower.

I still experience uncomfortable situations and I feel emotions rising and kicking but I know two reassuring things:

One: I have been through it before and I overcame it.

Two: if it’s too overwhelming, I can retreat and switch it off. Yes just like that. I go to my place, I sit and I am me doing the best I can. I will deal with it but I take a little time off. As soon as I am alone, I am peaceful. It’s like those white flags or like we say when we are kids: “Thumbs up” (at least here in France). When you are in a game, it means, stop. Usually you stop the game to discuss the rules.
Now when I feel a negative emotion, I know it’s a signal. What does it mean? What triggered it? Is it an interpretation, an old vision or do I have to change a way, act differently?
I still have old patterns glued to my brain but even if I don’t stress on it, I know I will tackle it when the time is right.

I can’t give a definition of happiness yet but contrasts in my life give me hints as how to describe it.

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Happyview*6: Vienna – Austria

by Joanna on 26/03/2009

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I danced. I spun and spun. I’ve been Dizzy. I experienced a great sens of joy.

At first when Glenneroo (glenn /silly + kangaroo /bouncy = glenneroo / bouncing sillyness ) told me about mobile clubbing, I heard this little voice in my head saying : « don’t be up-tight, go and see. Get outside your comfort zone ». My little voice is always a good adviser so I said “OK ! Let’s go and dance in the middle of the MuseumsQuartier in Vienna.”
I have to confess that I have some difficulties with public display. Sometime I sound like an old lady ☺ Well, when I joined the group, I was using my camera as a protection to stay an observer. Then I started to dance, again, like an old lady.

But before going further and to fully understand my deepest experience in Vienna, you have to know a strange fact.

Exhibit A:

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Exhibit B:

exhibit B

Exhibit C:

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Exhibit D:

Exhibit D

Exhibit E:

Exhibit E

Vienna is a giant umbrella cemetery. Here, are coming the wealthy umbrellas of the world to have a beautiful end. Braves, they come to the windy city Vienna for a last dance with the wind. Some open completly toward the sky. Others wave like break dancers or embrass their holders.
So now you follow me ?  Vienna was very windy when I was there. Cold windy. It was raining and my hands were missing the warmth of the glove. I am very sensitive to cold.

I started to dance; like an old lady as you remember now. Then as we moved toward the center of the gigantic court, the rythm of movements slowly rocks you into a fabulous feeling of freedom. Then you let go of self judgment and you start to feel the air blowing its gentle strongness… Strongness! That can’t be right. Excuse my English but I just was thrilled. I was out of space and time. My hands and feet were warm. I felt an extreme well being but didn’t name it at the time.

At this very moment, a fellow dancer taped on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and he said: “Is this happiness?” At this moment I realised that I  lived a great joy that is part for me of a happy life but I was suddenly brought back by the same question I am asking everyone. “What is happiness?”

Several persons I interviewed during this trip asked me what was my vision of happiness and my answer is always different. At this very moment in Vienna, it was: happiness is being here and now. Several people in the happyviews had this learning as a life lesson. I believe that’s what they meant.

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