I live a happy life.
To my biggest surprise nothing can through me off for a long time. Deceptions, feeling of rejection, anger, sadness, loneliness, nothing seems to stick anymore. I remember being in New York. I was alone in the penthouse apartment floaded with sunlight. I was crying. I would sit on the stairs and cry. I would stand up at the window, look at the statue of liberty and whip. I would lay down on the sofa and stare at the ceiling. I had it all! The apartment, the car, the outfit of a life on track. I had the fun nights in Manhattans, the home cooked meals with friends, the gym, the paycheck. And still sadness was sticking.
Now I can see that I was feeding it with interpretations, internal stories, my outlook on life.
So what is the difference?
I believe mainly two things have changed:
First, like if I had developed the negative roll, I see life differently. I see all situations, bad or good as opportunities, opportunities to experience and learn. And, if there is something I enjoy in life it is learning. This shift didn’t happened in a day but really started when I said to myself “Is there an other way to experience life?” That question alone brought to me a series of encounter that changed my life and my vision.
Second. Now, I use my emotions like if they were little flashing lights on a car board. Sadness is not a companion anymore; it is merely a nice refreshing shower.
I still experience uncomfortable situations and I feel emotions rising and kicking but I know two reassuring things:
One: I have been through it before and I overcame it.
Two: if it’s too overwhelming, I can retreat and switch it off. Yes just like that. I go to my place, I sit and I am me doing the best I can. I will deal with it but I take a little time off. As soon as I am alone, I am peaceful. It’s like those white flags or like we say when we are kids: “Thumbs up” (at least here in France). When you are in a game, it means, stop. Usually you stop the game to discuss the rules. Now when I feel a negative emotion, I know it’s a signal. What does it mean? What triggered it? Is it an interpretation, an old vision or do I have to change a way, act differently? I still have old patterns glued to my brain but even if I don’t stress on it, I know I will tackle it when the time is right.
I can’t give a definition of happiness yet but contrasts in my life give me hints as how to describe it.]]>
When I feel that I am loosing the purpose of living a normal life, I am connecting myself to Jo’ s blog.
Then I realise that happiness is inside us and shall not be searched too far..
Thanks Joanna for digging the topic ! You are, in a way, guiding us with your experiences because we are carefully following your « mood » steps ! 😉
A bientôt for another week-end somewhere, somehow, with simple happiness between friends ! 😉
:))) With all your travels I am sure you know a lot about happiness. Thank you so much for your message, ça me fait tellement plaisir 🙂
Hey Joanna !
Alors quoi de neuf depuis le temps! Ça va?
Ton projet avance?
Coucou Adrien. The application is soon to be realeased and hopefully it will generate work for the developer and the designer because they did a great job! My personal projects are still blury but I appreciate the way 😉
Beautiful insight. Beautiful.
Thanks Gent. I don’t know if I should share personal experiences or stay at a distance so I appreciate your comment 🙂
Very nice web site even if I can’t read danish 🙂